Tubby Muffin (generation_love) wrote in anonymous_lips,
Tubby Muffin

Dear self,

Am I happy?? I want to be a part of a 'couple' but life is good without it. I'm a senior in culinary school, about to start the most exciting part of my life... but I think I'm lonely. I'm working on my weight, or atleast trying to, although I don't think I'm fat. I have got some beautiful curves, and I couldn't imagine losing them. This job I landed, will be the most difficult but the most rewarding thing I've ever done... will I even have time for a man? I can't seem to date guys my age, and I'm not sure I can really have a relationship with the older guys I seem to like. This is so confusing... I know that Bobby and I would do great together, but he's 29 and smokes more weed than I do. He's got a great job, a house, everything is in order... but do I want to smoke weed once I have children and all the other things I want? I just wish I could understand everything that is going on... and just know what I want in life.

Maybe I should return back to church. My faith helped me so much with everything before... but that is another issue. Do I feel as though what I do on a daily basis is sinful, or does God understand why I do what I do? If I could just have a sit down chat with God!!

I just hope that this will all make sense soon.
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